wwdkal

WWDKAL: "What We Don't Know About Love"

My freshman year of high school or sometime around that, my best friend and I decided to write a collaborative story together (since both of us were aspiring authors). I remember, we were sitting on her roof chatting about writing, and trying to come up with new story ideas, and all of a sudden we just started blabbing away about a story we could write together called "What We Don't Know About Love". The story was supposed to be about two teenage girls who were trying to deal with boys and the messed-up "relationships" that people develop in high school.

That girl and I are no longer friends. In fact, we stopped talking right around last year. She chose some other path and found new friends and simply stopped talking with me. I guess she just didn't want to be associated with me. In fact, I recently asked her why we hadn't talked in so long and she told me that there simply was no reason.

But recently I reread our WWDKAL story and it made me laugh. How in the hell could we, stupid teenage girls, possibly think we knew all the difficulties and complexities of love at the age of 14 or 15? Now that I'm almost 17 (or will be in June, anyway), I realize how stupid I was being back then.

What is love? How am I to know? Will I ever know? I'm only a teenager, and I don't think love comes easily for people my age. Perhaps the occassional serious relationship will come along for highschoolers, however I don't actually think people my age can really know what love is unless they find "the one" before graduation.

So far I've come to this conclusion: BOYS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, I'm not gonna turn all lesbian on you guys. (Even though some friends seem to "seriously think Katie might be bi" << her exact words...). I'm not in any way attracted to girls, it's just that boys make me want to scream with anger.

In my 16 1/2 years of life, I've had ONE boyfriend. While my other friend, who is almost exactly my age, has had at least six. Maybe even seven. I lost count. This confuses me, seeing as how this girl and I are EXACTLY alike in every way. We have the exact same personalities (except for the fact that she is WAY nicer than I am). In fact, we could be twins if we looked the same...and HEY!! That's when I realized it! WE DON'T LOOK THE SAME! I'm hideous compared to this girl. And that, my friends, is the reason why guys tend to be obsessive over her and seem to fear the sight of me.

This one boyfriend that I had is a total and complete ASS. Actually, he's a nice guy. He's a good FRIEND. However, when we were together, he was an ASS. 100% asshole. He never even seemed to want to touch me in front of other people, like he was ashamed of being with me or something. And, a couple months after HE broke up with ME, he begged me to take him back. And a week after I said no, he asked out my best friend and claimed that he really liked her.

BULL TO THE SHIT.

Since that whole incident, I haven't been able to find ONE guy in my entire school that would ACTUALLY care about me. Most guys just get girlfriends for the sex, or even to show off to their friends that they can get a hot girl. There's no such thing as a high school boy that actually CARES about the girls he dates.

Besides, there isn't ONE single guy at my school that I would even come close to liking in the slightest bit. I used to like this one guy who turned out to be a conceited asshole. Another guy (a freshman who made me feel like a cougar when I flirted with him...) was just a total flirt and never had the slightest bit of feelings for me even though he led me to believe so. Another guy who I just recently stopped liking, turned out to be the most conceited and self-centered person I've ever met in my entire life, PLUS he went to winter formal with the SAME friend who my ex-boyfriend asked out. What a life...

It's not like anyone will read this blog, I'm just saying that high school boys SUCK. I feel like I'll never get married because no guys will ever appreciate me. My dream is to get married, but I honestly think that that's not gonna happen. Great.